Why Are You Burning Out?

by | Mar 21, 2019 | Burn Out, Extended DISC, Human Behaviour, Leadership, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self Awareness

Want to know why you’re constantly burning out? It’s pretty simple really. After studying and using DISC for over the last 10 years of my career, I’ve noticed this pretty impressive pattern starting to develop.

If you’re not familiar with DISC, you can read about it here.

For those that are familiar with DISC, you will be aware that if you’ve undertaken a proper assessment you have what’s called a “Natural Style” profile and a “Perceived Need to Adjust” profile (as pictured below).

 

So, what are these 2 profiles able to tell us about this individual above.

You can see in Profile II, which is their Natural Profile, the individual has an extremely High S and High C. This persons profile would be classified as a SC given both the S an C are above the middle section of the graph.

The behavioural traits of someone that is a mix of and S and a C would be someone that is

  • Helpful
  • Calm
  • Relaxed
  • Careful
  • A thinker
  • Perhaps sometimes a little slow

Now, compare those traits to their “Perceived Need to Adjust” profile which is a High C and S – note they are the same behaviours just switched around.

What this profile is telling us is that the person has the perceived need to adjust who they are naturally to meet the demands of the environment or role they are currently in at work.

Their natural S drops yet their C increases. (Note, we look at the numbers on the bottom of the graph not the positioning of the graph). This would tend to indicate that the environment or role they are in they feel the need to be a lot more organised, it is either a highly processed or systematic role, they want to be in control, they are dealing with a lot of facts, data or important information and have a desire to deliver only perfect results.

Given they already posses a High C in their Natural Style, it would not take too much additional effort for that person to be engaged in that type or quality of work, however they need to be aware that if they are put under too much pressure as a C, there are certain behavioural traits of their higher Natural default style S that could appear ie: without clear deadlines they could become slow. If they don’t have enough information, will not be comfortable to make a decision – analysis paralysis etc.

If, for example the “Perceived Need to Adjust” profile in this instance was in fact a High I instead of a High C, this would be a much more significant shift from their Natural Style and therefore take a lot more energy as being a High I and dealing with people being an enthusiastic people person, isn’t something that comes as naturally to them. It does not mean they are not capable of doing the role, they absolutely are, it just means it will take more energy and it will not be as sustainable long term and there is a greater risk of them burning out. Make sense?

I am a first hand example of this. In my previous life as first a Lawyer and then Head of HR for various companies – I know odd mix, but hey, for years, I had my Natural Style as High CI. I loved information, detail etc, hence the Lawyer and High C, but also I also loved being around people. My perceived need to adjust however was High I followed by a High C. Given I was Head of HR, I felt the need to be more “visible” and enthusiastic than what I actually sometimes wanted to be and that I probably needed to be which in turn lead me to burn out….twice.

Now, I am quite a comfortable mix of DCS, which if anyone would have ever told me I would have had an S or D in me, I wouldn’t have believed them, but secretly I think I’ve been working towards slowing down but also being more confident in who I am. I turned 40 last year and well it’s safe to say am in a pretty good place. I no longer feel the need to have a position with a specific company to demonstrate my self worth, my priorities are about my family, making sure the kids feel safe, confident, loved, that I’m there for them yet being able to also have a sense of purpose which is passing on the gift of knowledge I have gathered throughout my career,  so it can help others short cut what can sometimes take years to figure out.

So, I’ll leave you with one question, if you’re not happy in your role at work, not sure you’re In the right role, feeling lost or not loving what you’re doing, constantly feeling exhausted, it’s definitely not the only reason to do a DISC profile, but it would be highly beneficial to be able to uncover what’s going on inside that brain of yours.

I could continue to share hundreds of stories of light bulb ah ha moments so many people have after completing profiles, but this blog would end up being way too long, so I will work on getting some of the most fun ones together and share them separately. Till then.

What it really takes to be a Conscious Leader

by | Apr 11, 2018 | Leadership, Self Awareness

I’m often asked “What is Conscious Leadership”? How do I know if I’m a conscious leader or not, so I thought I’d shed a little light on the topic.

The difference between these two styles of Leaders:

  1. Conscious Leader – A leader that is making decisions and is fully aware of how their decision or behavior is potentially going to impact others.
  2. Unconscious Leader – A leader that makes decisions completely unaware of how their decision or behavior is going to impact others.

I’m sure we’ve all worked with leaders and team members that lacked self awareness – If I’m honest sometimes I am quite jealous of people who are blissfully unaware…for a minute or two, then the reality hits home, that it’s actually not as great as it appears.
But it can be incredibly frustrating working with a team member or leader who lacks self awareness. I came across this diagram – I can’t take credit for it, but it’s a perfect example of how when you have people in leadership roles or in a team with various levels of self awareness how challenging work can become.

Let’s start with those that are not self aware (the bottom right hand quadrant). When a leader and employee both lack self awareness, chances are it’s the blind leading the blind. They’re operating in a pretty reactive state, nothing is really being achieved, there is probably a culture of blame, victim mentality and well it’s not at all engaging. It’s chaotic.

Now, lets move to the employee being self aware and working with an unaware or unconscious leader (top right hand corner) – Hello frustration. Did you know that frustration with a direct leader is one of the biggest causes of employees resigning from their roles? It can be quite hard to try and have an impact when you’re working with someone who is unaware of how their behaviour and deiciosn are impacting the team.

However, when a leader has self awareness and an employee does not (bottom left quadrant) – there is an OPPORTUNITY for the leader to develop the employee. To mentor, coach, stretch them to think differently, ask questions, and start to unlock that self awareness within. This can be via feedback, coaching, a DISC Profile or opportunity to be exposed to new projects to challenge what they currently don’t know they don’t know.

Where the magic happens is when you have a self aware leader and self aware employee. Hello potential. With self awareness comes someone who truly knows themselves. They’re honest and upfront about where the excel, what they need help with. You can cut through the BS, have more honest conversations about what is best for the business and each other, build greater rapport as there is no confusion about the part they are each going to play in achieving success.

Pretty simple hey?

Self awareness – definitely one of the most valuable asset leaders and employees can have. Do you agree?

How to Bring the Best Out of your Team

by | Jan 10, 2018 | Self Awareness, Self-improvement

It really is so easy.

So, it’s a New Year, but sometimes it’s not about everything being new but it’s about mastering what we’ve already got.

Just like a car going in for service we too need to give ourselves a service, a tune up so we can perform better. So, what do you need to do this year to help yourself perform better? Is it going to the gym, a walk, meditating, taking time out of the office to plan, to spend time in the sun or by the water or write on the beach (as I cheekily am now).

Personally for me there are 4 things I need to do:

  1. I need to be organised. I need to know the kids are sorted, I’ve got clarity on what needs to be done by when and how it’s going to happen. I need to make sure I prioritise my time, so I’m not working till midnight every night. It’s pretty easy when you love what you do to get carried away once the kids go to bed and you’ve got time to yourself. For some reason my creative juices start flowing about 10pm…. and it’s game on. But it’s doesn’t work to well come 5am when the kids wake up and the day starts so I’m trialling a few other options right now.
  2. I need some time to myself – to think, to write, to get to the gym, brainstorm, implement, learn and grow. I need this most days. Even when I’m pushed for time, the difference a 20min hypnosis (a form of meditation) – can make is incredible.
  3. I also crave time in or by nature – Ideally the ocean or beach, but I will never say no to a mountain esp if it’s covered in snow! If I’m super lucky I’ll get time by the ocean in the sun to write as I am today.
  4. Lastly I need time with my husband. To connect, talk, share and just be. It’s not easy when both parents work full time – whether you work for yourselves, someone else or look after kids full time, its so important to prioritise time with your partner. I always like to know what’s going on in his world – because ultimately it’s actually our world.

So, enough about me, now all about you. Do you want to know the secret for bringing the best out of your team? Actually it doesn’t even need to be your team, it might be your partner or even your boss.

Here you go….ASK THEM. Yep that’s right stop second guessing what they need from you and ASK them.

Do they need clarity on something? Time? Direction? Autonomy? Flexibility?

I reckon the best conversation you can have with anyone important to you in your life is to ask them what they need from you to be able to perform better or be a better version of themselves. You’ll be blown away with how simple it is and how easily it can be achieved.

So, STOP guessing and start asking.

Go on, do it. Ask, ask now.

Love to know what you got asked to do.

PS. My husband got asked to take the kids for a few hours so I could get organised and have an hour to myself! Surprise Surprise.

What I got out of a Nippers Bucket & Sponge Race

by | Dec 20, 2017 | Neuroscience, Self Awareness

DiSC in full flight.

It’s funny when you’re acutely aware of the different behavioral styles and analyse peoples behavior by observing them and what you notice. Recently I was watching my 6 year old son at nippers. They were playing a game where they had to collect water from the ocean with a sponge. There were about 8 teams, 5 nippers in each team. Each nipper had to run down to the ocean fill up the sponge with water, squeeze as much water as they can into the bucket to see which team could fill it up first.

It was honestly the most interesting race I’ve seen 6 year olds do. As I watched the boys in my sons team, before the whistle blew, some of the boys faces were on, they were ready and raring, they wanted to win. One of the guys at the back was looking around the beach a little aimlessly, not at all engaged, another was making sure everyone was ready to go and another making sure the first guy was behind the line and not going to cheat. Now obviously most of this would prob be oblivious to a parent who doesn’t look at behaviours as I do, but given its in my DNA now, I watched on with great curiosity as to how it was going to unfold.

The whistle blew the first guy went straight down to the water, barely touched the sponge in the water, straight back to the bucket – super fast only to realise his disappointment that he hadn’t gathered much water. The second guy went in – slowly pushed the sponge under water, waited, waited, waited until it had clearly soaked up as much water as it could, his team was yelling hurry up and he picked up the heavy sponge and carried is back to the bucket only to have the guy who went before him grab it out of his hands and ring out the water into the bucket. Then it was my sons turn. He ran out deep, beyond where he needed to go and where I thought he would go because he had his own agenda. He wanted to dive under the water and fill the sponge up as he did it. He wanted to have fun and cool down – it was quite a warm morning.

As he ran back up the beach the nipper who went first attempted to grab the sponge out of his hands to squeeze it into the bucket of water, only to have jack turn to him and say back off, to which the nippers eyes opened wide and he took 2 steps back. Next was the kid who was at the back of the team when the game was being explained. He didn’t even realise it was his turn. The guys were yelling at him to go, go, go. He had no idea what to do. He casually picked up the sponge, headed to the water as he looked to see what the other teams were doing, wet the sponge, had a look around and then proceeded back up the beach towards another teams bucket, completely unaware he was going to the wrong teams bucket.

Honestly it was hilarious. This continued on for another round and similar behaviors taking place. Right before my eyes, here was an example of 6 year olds all demonstrating various degrees of behavior of Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance. I had a little chuckle to myself and thought wow….it starts so young. The way kids play on the beach or in the playground can really be a great indication as to how what they are exposed to early in their lives influences their choices and the way they behave.

I tried to work out which kids belonged to which parents but that was nearly impossible, goes to show, they too just like the sponges on the beach are little sponges so we better watch how we behave, they’re picking up more than we realise and probably want to know.

What Makes a Great Leader

by | Dec 19, 2017 | Leadership, Self Awareness, Uncategorized

What makes a Great Leader?

There are many articles written about leadership these days, some I skim over and get nothing from, others grab my attention and I’m glued. Usually the ones that grab my attention are those that have some aspect of scientific reference, after all, everything starts with science somewhere along the lines, doesn’t it?

So what makes a great leader? In my opinion, you need to have:

  1. Great self awareness
  2. Clarity on what success looks like and how you’re going to get there.
  3. Strong professional relationships with those influential to your success – your direct team – the one you lead and any others you’re part and
  4. Consistent time set aside for Investment in your development and the development of your team.

If you’re reading this, I’ve made the assumption that you’re a leader of a business or may desire to be a leader in the future.

If you’re a current leader, ask yourself, how’s your career or business going? Are you flying along, in flow, everything is lining up, sales are growing, costs in control, people happy, relationships strong?  Or are there constant challenges, one after the other, nothing quite going right, missing sales, struggling to get your people to stick around, move forward?

Well, if you’re in the first scenario, put your hand out in front of you, face your palm and lift it up to pat yourself on the back. Well done. you’re obv doing many things right.

If, however you’re in the second category and need some assistance, you’re not alone. Careers and business have and will continue to evolve at a pretty rapid rate and you too need to continue to evolve to ensure you’ve got constant clarity on what success looks like for you in your role and how you’re going to get there. If you haven’t invested in any Personal development or you’re still running a Strategy from even 2 years ago, it may be time to set some time aside to refocus and reflect.

Self Awareness is an absolute no brainer when it comes to being a great leader. If you’ve ever worked for a leader who lacked self awareness, you know what I’m talking about – the word frustration comes to mind. Sometimes you just don’t know what you don’t know – that’s ok. It’s when you think you know it all, yet your behaviours, decisions and results prove otherwise. The best way to create greater self awareness, is to get down and dirty with the science behind who you are and complete an Advanced DISC Profile. Click here to find out more about how to develop great self awareness.

Likewise, clarity is a key ingredient in success. Once you have clarity it enables you to prioritise where you spend your time in order to make the greatest impact and have the greatest return. A success plan that you regularly check in to and have someone hold you accountable to, is a great place to start.

So what is a Success Plan? It’s a modern twist on the old skool Position/Job Description except it doesn’t list a long list of tasks to do, the language used is more aspirational. You actually write what success looks like aka  – You know you’ve been successful when…. you’ve delivered x % of growth YOY, when retention is sitting at y.

It really is quite a simple yet powerful tool. Once you’ve got clarity on what success looks like in your role, it will provide valuable transparency to your team with what you need to deliver to be successful and in turn what they need to deliver to assist the businesses success.

If you’re a CEO, you’d absolutely need clarity from the Board as to what success looks like, – it doesn’t have to be as straight forward as a Success Plan. By the Board reviewing whats been working, what hasn’t, where the business needs to go in order to be successful…… receiving feedback is a form of clarity. Either way, long or short term, you need to make sure you’re on the right track and not just turning up day after day going through the motions. You need to be moving forward and so does the business you’re part of. It sounds simple and I hate to say it, it really is. Clarity is key.

Clarity from your peers and/or your team is also incredibly valuable. If they have clarity on what success looks like for you in your role, it will help them have greater clarity in what they need to deliver to contribute to the success.

When they have clarity, there is no confusion and everyone can simply get on with what they need to deliver.

When it comes to Strong professional relationships with your peers and team, if you truely want to embrace a future of trust, respect and speed, there needs to be the culture of open and honest conversations where feedback is welcome, as it’s always given and received openly for the intention of improving a person, decision or outcome for the business.

Feedback delivered or received without having a strong professional relationship can do great damage. It can ruin relationships, cause people to get their backs up and actually hinder ongoing communications and actually back fire from the initial good intentions. So, before thinking everyone is going to be on board with your plan and purely wanting support and confirmation, be open to actually listening to what feedback they’re providing. Feedback whether we like it or not is a gift, what we choose to do with it is up to us. If we value the person giving it to us, we’re more than likely to listen, consider and act, but if we don’t value them, we’re more likely to disagree, ignore and not act which can also be a valuable mistake.

So how do you build strong professional relationships? Time, yes, but by also finding common values. When you have things in common with another person you feel you are like each other, get each other and are able to relate to each other more so than with someone whom perhaps you do not have as much in common with. However, by you continuing to invest in your own personal development you can continue to learn the art and science or personal excellence aka self awareness and emotional intelligence – the internal dividends it will pay, will be significant.

Most of us want the last tech in our lives, or at least tech that’s helping our lives become easier, by updating the way we as leaders operate -think, behave and execute, we too can lead more easily, with greater results, so what are you waiting for. Become the leader you’ve always wanted to be.